Do you struggle to connect with people? Here’s how to fix it

Establishing strong connections with others is one of the most important aspects of the human condition. While it’s not necessary to have hundreds of “close” friends, studies show that it is important to have at least a few close relationships in order to feel more fulfilled, happier, and to live longer.

There are some other studies that show that loneliness can be deadlier than high blood pressure, smoking, or obesity. It seems that all signs point to the fact that strong, supportive, and stable relationships are important if you want to live longer and better lives. So, how do you create these kinds of connections?

Technology can be helpful for finding friends and keeping in touch with the ones you’ve already got, but beware: it is also causing us to become more disconnected than ever. It’s important to remember how essential in-real-life relationships are while using technology to meet people. Create those connections online, but make sure you nurture them offline.

There are plenty of other ways to meet people, such as joining a book or film club or a local sports team. But, if you’re thinking, “All of this information is well and good, but sometimes it can be difficult to connect with people!” you’re not alone. If you’re having a hard time, there are a few things you can do to fix it.

Determine your interests

The easiest way to meet others that you may be able to connect with is to surround yourself with likeminded people. I’m not saying you need to find cookie-cutter versions of yourself, but it would help if you had some common interests!

If you like being active, check out your local sports teams or running clubs. You may also consider joining a gym and taking classes there or signing up for a group challenge if they’re available.

If you’re more the book and movie type, consider joining a book club or a film club. If you enjoy wine or cooking, try for a wine tasting club or sign up for a cooking class. is one of our favorite ways of finding these types of activities.

The point is, the possibilities are endless. Chances are that if you’re interested in something, other people are too! Coming together around a shared passion is a great way to meet something that you could connect with. Finding a new friend to do something you already love with is a win-win.

Have an open mind

Let’s be honest: it can feel really…lame to try to make friends as an adult. No one wants to be that obnoxious guy who walks into a room with “Hello, my name is looking for new friends!” on their shirt.

Okay, he probably doesn’t have a name tag on, but we all know that look of… desperation. My heart goes out to those guys as they usually have good intentions but just don’t know how to follow through.

But, the truth is, if you want to forge deep connections as an adult, you’re going to have to take some tips from that guy. I’m not asking you to be obnoxious and overbearing, but I am asking you to have an open mind and to be authentic.

Be open to meeting new people and forming friendships and connections. That may mean you’ll have to check your ego at the door, but if you get a great connection out of it, why not? Don’t throw yourself at people, but don’t be closed off if a new person wants to approach you.

Put yourself out there

This one is pretty obvious, but you’re going to want to make yourself available for making connections. This goes back to determining your interests and joining a local club or team. If you don’t put yourself into a situation where you can meet someone new, you’ll never meet anyone new. It’s that simple.

Pay it forward

Once you’ve made a few strong connections yourself, it’s a good idea to pay it forward! If you can help others connect you should. It will make you feel good and you’ll be helping your friends at the same time.

This is something that we’re super passionate about here at expeeriences. We are big believers in the concept of social capital, and a big part of why social capital matters is because you can use it to help others connect.

We’ve already told you how important it is to curate your inner circle, and you know that you shouldn’t be keeping a “score” of favors you do for your friends. But, think of connecting two great people you know as adding a little social capital to everyone’s arsenal. It’s never a bad thing.

Originally published at https://expeeriences.com on April 29, 2020.